SOULS AT REST

Damn your gone and I have nothing to fall back on.....tell me if I'm wrong for thinking I can lean on her 4eva.....just like with time she passed away slowly.....not worrying about the what if's and maybes.....I wish I would have held her tighter and longer.....cause now that ur gone I see ur spirit more than I use to see u......tell me am I wrong for not being around as much as u would have wanted me to be......or was it a good reason I stayed away and kept people at arms length such as ya self......maybe I'm putting to much into the fact that ur gone....or I can be feeling guilty for the times things were good and great with the family as well as u and me......this thing we call life/love/hope and just about everything this world is made up as is crazy and difficult to deal with at times.....if I were able to turn back the hands of time I would be there every step u took and word u would speak from ya mouth......all I can do is hope that y'all 4give me......cause god knows I can change as well as care more......just know if I have to drop down on 1 knee I would do so.....my hands shake at times not knowing what is next in my life....does it scare me yes it does......but as long as I live my life rite I should be ok........
p.s. for all those I didn't get to see or say goodbye to I love you and I will always remember and honor ur memories